Training to be a Hatha Yogi
So… we are not supposed to talk about the training. And even if I could I wouldn’t like to. Why? Well… the training is such a life changing journey that it’s best to go there with a clean slate. No preconceptions, expectation or imagination… ehem, actually you always imagine something.
So yes, I went with a lot of imaginary things in my head. Always smarter than anybody else I did not even listen to my interview teacher when he said there will be no time for my own things… What?! These people must be super unorganized! I will always find time to read my favorite romance novel…
Well, reality check - I did not have time to cut my fingernails, so I don’t even have to mention what happened to my favorite novel.
The training is very intense, very busy and tough. Physically and mentally. It’s designed by Sadhguru himself and it is supposed to break you and dissolve your personality. And then put you back into something resembling a yogi… This is my own interpretation of what happened to me. So please do not quote me or take it as reference…
In some kind of magical way always the right thing happened at the right time. Once I reached my limit: sick with B12 deficiency, exhausted by the hours of physical training, lack of sleep and stress I lost 7 kilograms in 4 weeks. I was miserable and I started questioning the purpose of enduring this torture any longer. And then the right thing happened!
It was a sharing from one of the teachers. I could almost hear my own thoughts coming out of his mouth. How did he knew?
Other time I was broken again by the pain in my lower back. That day I went to the temple and just sat there for a while. I walked out of it without the pain. Couple of days later my classmate shared how she was not able to stand straight because of lower back injury and how she went to the temple and was cured there… I only shook my head and went about my day.
Coincidence? Fate? Magic? Call it what you want, what’s important is that it works.
So every time there was some crisis happening within me an instant relief was delivered. And the training happened and finished.
I went back home and started doing things I would never dream of before the training. I got empowered in so many different ways! I am starting my own company, renting a studio and teaching in a country where I don’t even speak the local language!
The biggest gift of all from Sadhguru and the training is that I don’t question myself, my ideas and decisions anymore. I just do. I have this unburned amount of energy that keeps me going and push forward. Don’t think too much, don’t waste your time. Just go and do what needs to be done.
I know how cliché this sounds but I just have to quote a certain popular brand: just do it. No excuses.
And yes, some of the personality was dissolved, and I hope more will disappear with time.
It is a scary thought to loose yourself. What will I become? Will I have anything to offer? This personality got me to where I am right now, there must be something good about it! Maybe yes, maybe no. The redeeming qualities will be still there, but getting rid of off the rubbish I picked up on the way on my life journey is liberating.
Besides, let’s be honest: my personality was never that great…
