Hours of Sadhana a day…

There were times when I only did short and sweet Shambawi Mahamudra Kriya in the morning… and I was still grumbling about the preparatory asanas! Often wanted to just skip them, but the small voice at the back of my head would always warn me - follow the instructions!

So I would drag myself out of bed at 7.30 am, quietly go to the living room and start with Patangasana. It was such a luxury to wake up at 7.30am!

Now my Sadhana is taking hours… and how do I handle that? Every day is different. Sometimes I’m not in my own house, sometimes I’m traveling. But even in my own space I have to fight this heap of soil, slap it a few times and push under the shower at 5am. Much earlier if I’m teaching that day, or have things to do and places to be.

It’s still a struggle.

At some point during the training I was getting up right after my roomate closed the door behind her and started her day. That was 3.20 am, and she was getting up at 2.45. I didn’t have time to think about how early it was or how sleepy I felt, I would just get up, take a 30 seconds cold shower (yeah, I know what you are thinking!) and start the Kriya in the room. After that it was a mad dash to the school (no wonder we were regularly scolded for riding bicycles like it was Formula 1!) so I could still fit Shambawi or Bhuta Shuddhi before Guru Puja.

Now I have all this time on hands to do my practices and I still complain. Well not exactly complain - as there is nobody to listen. It’s rather an ongoing battle with myself.

My eyes don’t want to open, my body doesn’t want to assume the vertical position, and my ears block the noise of the alarm.

But once I sit in front of Sadhguru’s photo and start the chant I feel totally fine! I’m not tired, sleepy or hungry. There is nowhere I should be and nothing I should be doing, apart from what is exactly in front of me. I actually feel excited and happy about starting the practice. Nothing hurts and there are no distractions.

So why is it so difficult to get out of bed?! Sadhguru said once that ‘the body is made of earth, and it just wants to get back to it.’ My body wants to get back to it so badly… And one day it will, but before that there is much to be done.

I’m typing it looking at the time. It’s 2.20pm and my phone reminded me about Shoonya second time already… Yep, when there is 6 hours of Sadhana I need reminders, notes and schedules to keep up with it. Everytime I want to reach for a snack in the afternoon I have to slap my hand - must be on empty stomach at 4pm, so I can finish the evening practice!

It’s long, it’s challenging and difficult to keep up with. But it makes me feel so high, that it’s worth the sacrifice.